I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
dude. I can hear the air.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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