Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
