only you would photoshop your dick
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I need a beard to bite.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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