i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
