why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
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Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
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I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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