With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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