Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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