one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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