Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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