I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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