It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
