I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
