Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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