Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You dont lie about slip and slides
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
