Your tits are I can't wait for
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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