I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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