Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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