Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
