I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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