Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
