two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
