Where is the hickey?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
