he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize