What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
