her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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