hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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