from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
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