I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
