I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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