i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
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I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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