he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
now i know why i became what i already was.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
