i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
