i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
