i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just cropdusted the office
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
