Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize