I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize