Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
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He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
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When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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