My pussy is not your playground.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
