i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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