I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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