No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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