So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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