So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
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He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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