Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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