he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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