i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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