you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Randomize
