Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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