Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
