i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
