He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
