she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
