My room smells like vodka and shame
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
