I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
