I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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