You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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