You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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