Already got asked if we're dating
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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