You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
