I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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