u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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