Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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