You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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