i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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