HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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