What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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