im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize